Debate Coverage...Sort Of

Well, I tuned in to the debate tonight, the first time I have done so, and...well the following might not be exactly verbatim but it's kind of how I saw it:

Pelley:       Governor Perry. What would you do if a nuclear weapon came up missing in Pakistan?
Perry:        Let me just say that we are winning in Afghanistan.
Pelley:       That was the previous question to Governor Romney.
Perry:        Oh...I wouldn't give a penny to Red China.
Pelley:       That was two questions ago. Time is up. Thank you Governor.
Garrett:     Congressman Paul. How would you deal with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?
Paul:          Have we ever tried sending him flowers?
Santorum:  Excuse me. Excuse me!  I just want to say that I totally disagree with Congressman Paul.
Garrett:     Governor Huntsman: Would it ever be the right thing to do to bomb Iran?
Huntsman: You know, I sat next to a sailor on the flight in and we have the finest navy in the world.
Garrett:      Oookaaay. And what about Iran?
Huntsman:  What about it?
Garrett:      Would it ever be the right thing to do to bomb Iran?
Huntsman:  Let me just say that I used to live in a shack in Iran... I know Iran.
Garrett:      And...?
Huntsman:  And what?
Pelley:        Speaker Gingrich. Would you ever use the fiendish, horrid, un-American torture of waterboarding?
Gingrich:     Waterboarding isn't torture.
Pelley:         Yes it is! Yes it is! Yes it is!!!
Garrett:       Governor Romney. You're really a handsome man.
Romney:     Thank you and I sincerely hope that Putin doesn't think that I'm just another pretty face.
Pelley:         Mr. Cain. What hands-on experience do you have with nuclear weaponry?
Cain:           Hands-on.....as the CEO of Godfather's Pizza? None.
Pelley:         Thank-you sir.
Pelley:         Congresswoman Bachmann: I notice that you have your hair pinned back tonight. Have you ever
                   used a washer board while doing your laundry?
Bachmann:   Excuse me!
Pelley:         Thank you Congresswoman.
Bachmann:  Excuse me again. I have sixty seconds to talk!
Pelley:         That was sixty seconds.
Bachmann:  Two words?  Sixty seconds?
Pelley:         We're playing by the rules tonight shorty!
Garrett:        Speaker Gingrich. Some people say that you will say anything conservatives want to hear?
Gingrich:      I'd bomb Iran, stop abortion, nominate Joe the Plumber for the Supreme Court and add Ronald
                   Reagan's name to the Pledge of Allegiance.
Garrett:       Thank-you sir.
Santorum:    Hey, Hey, Hey. What about me over here?
Pelley:         Senator Santorum. How would you handle the situation in Syria?
Santorum:   Well, I would..
Pelley:         Thank you Senator. Times up. Governor Romney. Who is going to be your Vice President?
Cain:           What kind of question is that?
Pelley:         I'll rephrase it. Governor Romney. Is your Vice President on the stage tonight?
Romney:      Let me just say that I'd be honored to have any of the 300 millions Americans as my V.P..
Huntsman:   Hey! I'm down here in Siberia you know!
Perry:          Did I ever tell you the one about the elephant who forgot where he put his trunk?
Pelley:         That's all the time we have for tonight. Thank you gentleman, shorty...and the black guy to the left of
                   Presi...I mean Governor Romney.

The most difficult thing about watching this was in seeing South Carolina Senator Jim Demint watching from the audience.