Many colleges and universities are having their commencement today, and I was on one of those campuses....unfortunately not to give a commencement speech......again! I'll leave this post up front for a few hours.
The Shortest Commencement Speech Ever......May, 2013
.......once again, another year has passed and I wasn't invited by anyone to be their commencement speaker! So I dreamed a dream and in that dream a very fantastical thing happened. Joe Biden was to be the commencement speaker at the University of Pennsylvania (which he is to be) but a couple of his hair plugs fell out at the last minute and he refused to go on stage. The Ivy League school administrators were frantic in trying to find a replacement. When they heard my name, Special Dog, they thought I must be a rap singer and thus eminently qualified to give a commencement speech.......then I woke up. So I sat down and penned the speech that I would have given had I in fact been invited as a commencement speaker...anywhere:
Well this is it! Four years....a hundred thousand dollars in debt.....and all you got is a piece of parchment and a t-shirt saying "I survived four years of American higher education." I just want to say one word to you. Just one word....plastics! Actually that's a quote, one of the top 100 film quotes by the way, from the 1969 movie The Graduate.
I'll start my advice with a little history, the "last official words" of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy. The magazine sized book published in 1964 that most everyone has seen... Four Days, The Historical Record Of The Death of President Kennedy, described it this way, "These were President Kennedy's last official words-the conclusion of the speech he was to have delivered in Dallas." That speech ended with these words, "...the righteousness of our cause must always underlie our strength. For as was written long ago: 'Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain'." That Bible excerpt is the last half of the 1st verse of Psalm 127... from the King James Version, which begins with this "Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it."
So I pass these words on to you as encouragement in this commencement speech for they are the only truly reliable words here: Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain!
Now you will be going out trying to find a job...maybe you already have one lined up.....please remember...Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.
You finally have that degree....it will be worthless if you forget, Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
Whatever your degree is in.....it must now be built upon this, Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.
You might already have a position at the biggest law firm in New York City.....God's Word reminds you, Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain!
You're already an expert at investing and have great plans for your portfolio.....is this the title of that portfolio...Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it?
You're patient and willing to work your way up....good traits, but keep in mind...Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
You just might want to work for a year with the United Nations.....to build peace.... Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.
You might want to save the planet or protect the environment .....without God it will be in vain, for Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain!
This may be the shortest commencement speech ever given but one does not have to be a PHD, or a celebrity, a statesman, general or financial wizard to relay God's wisdom to graduates......
"Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain."
The Shortest Commencement Speech Ever......May, 2013
.......once again, another year has passed and I wasn't invited by anyone to be their commencement speaker! So I dreamed a dream and in that dream a very fantastical thing happened. Joe Biden was to be the commencement speaker at the University of Pennsylvania (which he is to be) but a couple of his hair plugs fell out at the last minute and he refused to go on stage. The Ivy League school administrators were frantic in trying to find a replacement. When they heard my name, Special Dog, they thought I must be a rap singer and thus eminently qualified to give a commencement speech.......then I woke up. So I sat down and penned the speech that I would have given had I in fact been invited as a commencement speaker...anywhere:
Well this is it! Four years....a hundred thousand dollars in debt.....and all you got is a piece of parchment and a t-shirt saying "I survived four years of American higher education." I just want to say one word to you. Just one word....plastics! Actually that's a quote, one of the top 100 film quotes by the way, from the 1969 movie The Graduate.
I'll start my advice with a little history, the "last official words" of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy. The magazine sized book published in 1964 that most everyone has seen... Four Days, The Historical Record Of The Death of President Kennedy, described it this way, "These were President Kennedy's last official words-the conclusion of the speech he was to have delivered in Dallas." That speech ended with these words, "...the righteousness of our cause must always underlie our strength. For as was written long ago: 'Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain'." That Bible excerpt is the last half of the 1st verse of Psalm 127... from the King James Version, which begins with this "Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it."
So I pass these words on to you as encouragement in this commencement speech for they are the only truly reliable words here: Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain!
Now you will be going out trying to find a job...maybe you already have one lined up.....please remember...Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.
You finally have that degree....it will be worthless if you forget, Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
Whatever your degree is in.....it must now be built upon this, Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.
You might already have a position at the biggest law firm in New York City.....God's Word reminds you, Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain!
You're already an expert at investing and have great plans for your portfolio.....is this the title of that portfolio...Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it?
You're patient and willing to work your way up....good traits, but keep in mind...Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
You just might want to work for a year with the United Nations.....to build peace.... Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.
You might want to save the planet or protect the environment .....without God it will be in vain, for Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain!
This may be the shortest commencement speech ever given but one does not have to be a PHD, or a celebrity, a statesman, general or financial wizard to relay God's wisdom to graduates......
"Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain."
