Golf Digest

              I have no plans on taking up golf again. It's been twenty years since I was on a golf course....and it was probably about ten years before that....but I do miss the serene beauty of eighteen holes with trees and water and Caribbean white sand in the traps. The last two days I just stopped by the side of the road by a par four of a golf course....just to take in the atmosphere and watch some foursomes. Today there was just one man....carrying his bag of all things. He had a long drive but was in the left rough. He looked for his ball for quite a while and then just dropped one. His second shot was pretty good but over the green. It took him a while to find that ball. Then I watched him walk to the next tee and drive another long ball. He was now off in the distance....but I could see him looking for his ball again....so I drove off. It reminded me of the way that I played....always looking for the ball. I was looking for golf balls in my dreams. 
               So....I passed a driving range on the way home. I was laid up last year with a bad knee....and there have been some heart issues this year....but I stopped anyway. Once again it has been many years since I was on a driving range. The last time I stopped at a driving range....I was so new to it that I didn't know that you had to put a bucket down before the machine dispensed the balls. I guess that I thought that a person was in there and I would see an arm reach out with a bucket of balls. I was so erratic that I faked an injury....a reason for why I was so bad....in case someone saw me....even though there was no one there to see me. There was a giant green fence off to the right to keep the balls from going on the regular course. I put one over that fence even though the designers probably didn't think a human could do that.
              Today....I may have damaged a young tree on my first drive. It's off about 45 degrees to the left and I'm sure that no one has ever hit it before. I did actually have a couple of good drives....two is a couple right? It's different today as you pour the balls down into some hole....and a ball comes up already teed. That's great because I didn't have to bend over fifteen times. I probably would have feinted with bending over fifteen times and swinging the club fifteen times. Today I have the swing of Doug Sanders. You surely do not know who he was but he was a popular professional golfer back in the sixties. He was known for his colorful clothes and his short backswing. My backswing today was the same....because I couldn't possibly raise my arms any higher.
              Maybe I'll go back sometime for another $5 bucket....Lord willing....with my own driver....that my dad bought me back in 1965.....(I'm not kidding)....and the same putter that back in 65'....in anger on an 18th green....I spun around and heaved it....hitting a tree and bending the putter. It still has that bend in it. I don't think that I could putt....if I could putt....which I can't....with a putter that wasn't bent.
              When I was a runner....I always had an earbud in....listening to some sermon from some preacher from the past. So I would run and praise God while running! I could not have the same experience on a golf course!