I'm not a hugger. Oh I'll hug to play along but it doesn't come easily....unless I have some kind of strong bond with the person....then I probably overhug.....but those occasions are rare. I'm definitely not a kisser. Unfortunately I'm not even a good hand-shaker. There's something about these forms of endearment that by overuse seem to have lost their meaning.
What has happened to conversation. Even conservative talk radio, with a few exceptions, is losing it's essence. Not often is the listener encouraged to think on their own....but rather programmed....'this is how you respond when they say this.' I've developed a troubling habit over the past few years. My wife and I might be talking to a couple that we just met and somewhere in the....conversation....I'll say that I generally only talk about politics and religion. Now I don't just talk about politics and religion but that's my inept way of informing them that I generally like to talk about serious things. Folks, this type of behavior doesn't encourage anyone to say....well come on over sometime for tea and crumpets....but the alternative can be an evening of wasted time and no opportunities.
Rolling the dice and hopping a little figure space by space over a game board is a tough night. Every once in while I get hooked into it. There is one game that I love to play. If you have been a Christian for many years you would remember it. It's called The UnGame. Yes there's a die and yes you hop something or other around but it's just an excuse to pick up a card and answer it. "When were you most frightened in your life?"....might be one question. "Tell us about your high school years" might be another. There's nothing I have found that is more effective in encouraging people to open up than this game. The key....besides the personal nature of the question....is that the person answering a question is up....they don't have to fight for time.....they don't have to talk fast or over anyone.....everyone else's job is simply to listen.
Let me give you an example. This was from around twenty-five or thirty years ago. An industrial workplace....a power plant to be specific....a dozen men sitting around. The talk is sports or sex jokes or cars...something like that. I brought out this game. We didn't have time to roll dice or anything but I passed these cards around. Now half of us are covered with coal dust and the other half have splotches of lime slurry all over them. Three day beards....belching....and worse....not exactly the audience of Wheel Of Fortune. These men opened up. I did this on a few occasions over the years with the same results.
Genuine conversation! No football game can compare to this! Pauses....speaking slowly at times to choose the right words.....posing ideas to be pondered.....not being afraid to express doubt or uncertainty....these are the things that build trust....that end with a legitimate handshake.
I like to look into people's eyes....not a stare....not for minutes at a time....but long enough to try to see what's behind those eyes. Friendships don't come easy with habits like this but they come deeper. We are a society that no longer can converse. We are walled up in our own insecurities....bordered by politically correct rules. Don't let the laughter and fast talking fool you.
Facebook is the absolute worst thing that could have happened to America. Twitter is a plague in itself. The comment section on news articles can be disturbing. Sermons are too often little Toastmaster exercises. Bible studies can become quicksand. I hadn't played chess in a while. Tonight I booted up computer chess on the Internet....first time I did this...level two came up out of ten levels....I played and won. It was enjoyable but if I were to develop a hobby here....and never moved above level two....well nothing would be learned.....no improvement had. Open that Bible up yourself....just you and God. What does this mean God? I don't understand this Lord. Read it again and again. I'm not saying that instruction is not necessary, for it is, but your not getting an answer if there was no question to begin with.....you won't look for something that was not lost.....and you will not treasure something as much as that which you searched for.
What has happened to conversation. Even conservative talk radio, with a few exceptions, is losing it's essence. Not often is the listener encouraged to think on their own....but rather programmed....'this is how you respond when they say this.' I've developed a troubling habit over the past few years. My wife and I might be talking to a couple that we just met and somewhere in the....conversation....I'll say that I generally only talk about politics and religion. Now I don't just talk about politics and religion but that's my inept way of informing them that I generally like to talk about serious things. Folks, this type of behavior doesn't encourage anyone to say....well come on over sometime for tea and crumpets....but the alternative can be an evening of wasted time and no opportunities.
Rolling the dice and hopping a little figure space by space over a game board is a tough night. Every once in while I get hooked into it. There is one game that I love to play. If you have been a Christian for many years you would remember it. It's called The UnGame. Yes there's a die and yes you hop something or other around but it's just an excuse to pick up a card and answer it. "When were you most frightened in your life?"....might be one question. "Tell us about your high school years" might be another. There's nothing I have found that is more effective in encouraging people to open up than this game. The key....besides the personal nature of the question....is that the person answering a question is up....they don't have to fight for time.....they don't have to talk fast or over anyone.....everyone else's job is simply to listen.
Let me give you an example. This was from around twenty-five or thirty years ago. An industrial workplace....a power plant to be specific....a dozen men sitting around. The talk is sports or sex jokes or cars...something like that. I brought out this game. We didn't have time to roll dice or anything but I passed these cards around. Now half of us are covered with coal dust and the other half have splotches of lime slurry all over them. Three day beards....belching....and worse....not exactly the audience of Wheel Of Fortune. These men opened up. I did this on a few occasions over the years with the same results.
Genuine conversation! No football game can compare to this! Pauses....speaking slowly at times to choose the right words.....posing ideas to be pondered.....not being afraid to express doubt or uncertainty....these are the things that build trust....that end with a legitimate handshake.
I like to look into people's eyes....not a stare....not for minutes at a time....but long enough to try to see what's behind those eyes. Friendships don't come easy with habits like this but they come deeper. We are a society that no longer can converse. We are walled up in our own insecurities....bordered by politically correct rules. Don't let the laughter and fast talking fool you.
Facebook is the absolute worst thing that could have happened to America. Twitter is a plague in itself. The comment section on news articles can be disturbing. Sermons are too often little Toastmaster exercises. Bible studies can become quicksand. I hadn't played chess in a while. Tonight I booted up computer chess on the Internet....first time I did this...level two came up out of ten levels....I played and won. It was enjoyable but if I were to develop a hobby here....and never moved above level two....well nothing would be learned.....no improvement had. Open that Bible up yourself....just you and God. What does this mean God? I don't understand this Lord. Read it again and again. I'm not saying that instruction is not necessary, for it is, but your not getting an answer if there was no question to begin with.....you won't look for something that was not lost.....and you will not treasure something as much as that which you searched for.
