I took my wife out tonight for her birthday to a community pool party type of thing....with a group playing and other friends present. There was a day when I'd do well at these type of gatherings but no so much anymore. Oh you wouldn't know it to observe me as I laugh and tell jokes. There were some lawyer parents there so I told the legal joke that I made up while sitting in a seminar for trusts. A son comes home from college and his father asks him what he decided on as a major. The response was....cannabis science. The father asks incredulously...."I am going to pay for you going to college to study....cannabis science?" The son says that that's what he is interested in. The father shrugs and says...."Well....where there's a will....there's a way"....and the son says...."Thanks dad." Whereas the father says...."You misunderstand....if I die....then there's a will....and there's your way....other than that there's no way I'm paying for you to go to college and study....cannabis science!"
Yeah....I might have passed the test for being a normal human being.....but inside I failed. I tried to appear normal for my wife's sake on her birthday....sort of a....'Happy Birthday Wifey....your present is that I'll be normal all day'.....well up to this post anyway.
I've noticed lately that I have a little trouble in conversations. I was always a talker.....but it comes harder today. I can write like this.....and I can converse normally in some conversations.....well normally for me....if the topics are fairly serious....and I can converse perfectly fine in one-on-one conversations with other Christians.....for our faith and our Savior will be the topic....but more often than not I know before a conversation begins with a group of people....even friends....that I will regret the episode later.
I have to segue here.....for I have Sirius/XM on softly right now....my choice of music tonight the 60s....and Bob Dylan's.....My Back Pages....just started playing....funny how these things happen so often. Now I'm not going to attempt to interpret Bob Dylan....or the concept of protesting gone wrong.....but rather the poetry of it all. Yes I long for Christian content in conversations....but I will settle for anything with some kind of meaning.
So I often ponder....meditate upon....why I am drying up as a conversationalist? I know that I don't want to go back. I want every thought to be relevant to something....for you cannot speak seriously on anything for long before God has to come into the conversation.....war....Memorial Day....pain and suffering....hunger....politics.....even goals or dreams or humor....we can only go so far before the glory of God rushes in along with the words of Jesus...."You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."
Matthew 22:37 ESV
"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God."
Psalm 42:11
Note: All of my Ruminations posts remain here.....somewhere....but I usually leave them up front for only a few hours before moving them back in the pack.
