Occasionally I bring a post back from my humor pages.....to highlight them for a few hours for one....and also to show that although these are days that call for extreme soberness....most of my posts are an example of that....there is also a time for healthy venting....in a way....through humor. Televisions in waiting rooms should be illegal. The following are just two of my recent experiences:
Well, I had another wonderful experience in a doctor's waiting room today. What makes it worse is that I'm not the one who was sick....I'm just the driver....which means I that I'm in the waiting room the whole time. Last waiting room it was Let's Make A Deal that drove me crazy. Today it was some house remodeling and selling show. I have no clue what it's called. I'm sitting here in a trance as I write. The windows don't open or I'd jump.
Now I have to admit that the primary reason I hate these shows.....I actually never even saw one before....I just knew that I would hate it....the actual reason is that I don't have any abilities in remodelling or anything like that so I have this extreme inferiority complex. I spend all my time in the Bible and analyzing a collapsing nation that will at the very least bring pain and suffering to all those that I love, so I'm totally inadequate at turning the cellar into a family room. I turned mine into a survival bunker. I can spot a communist that's trying to steal your children's mind but I can't spot a bad roof until the rain drips on my computer.
Unfortunately there are two things in life where you can be an expert without actually having spent much time in research and study and they are religion and politics; so you can devote your life to study but ultimately you will be no more listened to than Joe or Mike who spend all their free time on the golf course while reading three books a year...one of which was written by Bill O'Reilly and another about a seven year old kid's trip to heaven to play soccer with Jesus.
Anyway, back to the waiting room....I'm watching this guy.....who does dress to the nines by the way.....I watched him take this couple to three houses....whoa....now there are two guys and they look like twins....now I'm doubly inferior! Anyway he took this couple to three houses in an attempt to sell them on one......but the word ''houses doesn't really seem to fit. "How much is it?" they ask......$860,000 is the answer......they don't fall over.....they smile...."That's in our budget!" That's in our budget? That's not in a small nation's budget for an embassy! I wish my total worth was that much.
I'd settle for EMTs taking my relative out on a stretcher to get out of here. Is this America? I must have been sick the day it won the Lotto. Somehow I get the feeling that this couple wouldn't have the slightest interest in reading my Special Dog blog.
DEATH BY WAITING ROOM
Well, I had another wonderful experience in a doctor's waiting room today. What makes it worse is that I'm not the one who was sick....I'm just the driver....which means I that I'm in the waiting room the whole time. Last waiting room it was Let's Make A Deal that drove me crazy. Today it was some house remodeling and selling show. I have no clue what it's called. I'm sitting here in a trance as I write. The windows don't open or I'd jump.
Now I have to admit that the primary reason I hate these shows.....I actually never even saw one before....I just knew that I would hate it....the actual reason is that I don't have any abilities in remodelling or anything like that so I have this extreme inferiority complex. I spend all my time in the Bible and analyzing a collapsing nation that will at the very least bring pain and suffering to all those that I love, so I'm totally inadequate at turning the cellar into a family room. I turned mine into a survival bunker. I can spot a communist that's trying to steal your children's mind but I can't spot a bad roof until the rain drips on my computer.
Unfortunately there are two things in life where you can be an expert without actually having spent much time in research and study and they are religion and politics; so you can devote your life to study but ultimately you will be no more listened to than Joe or Mike who spend all their free time on the golf course while reading three books a year...one of which was written by Bill O'Reilly and another about a seven year old kid's trip to heaven to play soccer with Jesus.
Anyway, back to the waiting room....I'm watching this guy.....who does dress to the nines by the way.....I watched him take this couple to three houses....whoa....now there are two guys and they look like twins....now I'm doubly inferior! Anyway he took this couple to three houses in an attempt to sell them on one......but the word ''houses doesn't really seem to fit. "How much is it?" they ask......$860,000 is the answer......they don't fall over.....they smile...."That's in our budget!" That's in our budget? That's not in a small nation's budget for an embassy! I wish my total worth was that much.
I'd settle for EMTs taking my relative out on a stretcher to get out of here. Is this America? I must have been sick the day it won the Lotto. Somehow I get the feeling that this couple wouldn't have the slightest interest in reading my Special Dog blog.
DEATH BY WAITING ROOM
Wow...torture...I'm sitting in the waiting room of a car dealer while my vehicle is being repaired and the television is 24 inches from my ear (the only seat available.) Governor Pence is being interviewed....no, interviewed isn't the word......interrogated is the word. The encouraging news in this is that I glanced up at the man opposite me and he in turn glanced over to me and just shook his head. One young man has ear buds in....smart man. Another is giving a death stare at the television. He looks an awful lot like Jerry Stiller from the King Of Queens. Hmm...I better not say anything.
Is this a tweet? It's getting worse....the announcer just said that Senator Lindsey Graham is coming on to give insight on something or other. I guess I'll have to listen to that. I hope there's nothing to that Stockhom Syndrome thing.
Oh no!......"I'm Hillary Clinton...and I approve this message." Is this worth it? I mean what's a little 'check engine' light? OK, the political ad is over. I don't care what these folks think of me with my fingers in my ears. Now there's a segment on childbirth. Please...I mean do we throw 'kidney stones' at you all the time. Have you ever seen a television show when the man is behind a door screaming?
Lindsey is on now.....(who names their son Lindsey.....It can't even be shortened.....Lind.....Linds) ...."Ah thank that Hillary is right awn theece." They're treating Graham very nicely. That's because he's a senior menber of the junior members of the UniParty. The term UniParty comes from Professor Angelo Codevilla. We essentially have one major political party in the United States...the UniParty...consisting of the senior partner Democrats and the junior partner Republicans.
I look up at the giant TV over my right shoulder.....I can see the facial pores on the interviewers face. Whatever happened to 'Honey, adjust the rabbit ears while you're up. I can't tell if it's the television or if it's snowing on Bonanza." I don't want to see Joe Biden's hair plugs. Ok, now we're getting better.... a commercial with Morgan Fairchild on it. We...Morgan Fairchild and I...were born on the very same day in 1950. Yeah, we look about the same age!
I look at my watch......it should be another 30 minutes! I'd rather wait for Godot! I don't know if I can handle it. It's cold outside so I can't take a walk. I'd settle for a rerun of That 70s Show or even Jerry Springer! I could go out to the showroom and buy a new car. Let's see.....30 minutes....$30,000...30 minutes...$30,000....tough decision...
The door opens...
"Special Dog? Special Dog?"
I jump out of my seat "Here....here!"
"Your car is done....everything's O..."
"That's great....give me the keys....thanks.....bye."
Is this a tweet? It's getting worse....the announcer just said that Senator Lindsey Graham is coming on to give insight on something or other. I guess I'll have to listen to that. I hope there's nothing to that Stockhom Syndrome thing.
Oh no!......"I'm Hillary Clinton...and I approve this message." Is this worth it? I mean what's a little 'check engine' light? OK, the political ad is over. I don't care what these folks think of me with my fingers in my ears. Now there's a segment on childbirth. Please...I mean do we throw 'kidney stones' at you all the time. Have you ever seen a television show when the man is behind a door screaming?
Lindsey is on now.....(who names their son Lindsey.....It can't even be shortened.....Lind.....Linds) ...."Ah thank that Hillary is right awn theece." They're treating Graham very nicely. That's because he's a senior menber of the junior members of the UniParty. The term UniParty comes from Professor Angelo Codevilla. We essentially have one major political party in the United States...the UniParty...consisting of the senior partner Democrats and the junior partner Republicans.
I look up at the giant TV over my right shoulder.....I can see the facial pores on the interviewers face. Whatever happened to 'Honey, adjust the rabbit ears while you're up. I can't tell if it's the television or if it's snowing on Bonanza." I don't want to see Joe Biden's hair plugs. Ok, now we're getting better.... a commercial with Morgan Fairchild on it. We...Morgan Fairchild and I...were born on the very same day in 1950. Yeah, we look about the same age!
I look at my watch......it should be another 30 minutes! I'd rather wait for Godot! I don't know if I can handle it. It's cold outside so I can't take a walk. I'd settle for a rerun of That 70s Show or even Jerry Springer! I could go out to the showroom and buy a new car. Let's see.....30 minutes....$30,000...30 minutes...$30,000....tough decision...
The door opens...
"Special Dog? Special Dog?"
I jump out of my seat "Here....here!"
"Your car is done....everything's O..."
"That's great....give me the keys....thanks.....bye."
